Just a Little Taste...

...Of What I'm All About

This is an article that I wrote for my high school newspaper that took first at districts for the Nebraska state competition and first for the UNO High School Media competition for entertainment/review writing. Personally, I feel that it's not the strongest article that I've ever written–I am brutally honest about what I critique, especially my own stuff– but a lot of other people seemed to like it and I had a lot of fun writing it. I feel like it'll be a good opening Get-To-Know-Me blog post while you lot are letting me know what movies to review. So without further adieu, here's Hollywood...we have a problem:

I just had the coolest dream: I was having breakfast at Tiffany’s with Jimmy Stewart. We were eating some duck soup while we were looking out the rear window, when all of a sudden we witnessed something astonishing. All was quiet on the western front when a raging bull tried to kill a mocking bird. When one of the chicks flew over the cuckoo’s nest, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid threw sixteen candles at young Frankenstein on the waterfront, and then his girl, Friday, and I started singing in the rain across 42nd Street.

Anyway, even though this dream may seem crazy and in desperate need of psychiatric review, I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was jam-packed with old movie allusions, and it got me thinking: I miss movies like those.

Sure, some of them don't have color, or high-budget explosions, but they were really high-caliber films. 

This thought then got me thinking about another thought, which brought me to this: what happened? When did movies start losing that sheen that it had back in the day? When did we start caring so much about money in the movie business and less about the art of crafting a film that someone could be proud of distributing? 

Movie companies coulda had class. They coulda been contenders instead of bums, which they are; let’s face it. They’ve been selling themselves short with cheap laughs and jaw-dropping stunts for the sake of making money. They care too much about being the next box office hit and are neglecting to add any emotion into what they have the responsibility to craft. Movies are supposed to satisfy its audience with great performances and film direction. They’re supposed to be a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

The fact of the matter is that you don’t need all of that fodder to make a great film. We’ve fallen under the illusion that movies can only be successful if they contain so much CGI, crudeness and vulgarity. That notion simply isn’t true. Sure, those elements make the movie box office gold, but once it leaves the theatres its just another flashy movie that folks will forget about as soon as another CGI-filled movie comes along to trump it. Remember ‘Transformers?’ Of course you don’t, and why? Because it held no emotional or thematic value; that’s why. 

There is, believe it or not, such thing as a movie with integrity, a movie with feelings and emotions. Film wasn’t always as flashy as it is now, and yet it still survived: Charlie Chaplin was able to craft works of art for years that both moved audiences to laughter and tears without uttering a single word; Walt Disney was able to derive a strong, heart-felt response with “Dumbo” without having the title character even speak; and some of the greatest love stories that have been depicted with film, such as “Pride and Prejudice” and “Cyrano de Bergerac,” were as heart-felt as they were because of the actors’ performances and the dialogue rather than with risqué behaviors.

So hear me out, Hollywood. Go back to producing movies like you used to back in the day. Look deep within yourself and give us a good, old-fashioned simple action movie like “Star Wars,” a clean-cut drama like “Cabaret” and a comedy that doesn’t reek with constant cursing, like “Blazing Saddles.” It really isn’t a lot to ask of you, and you’ll reap the rewards in the long run. You may not make so much at the box office, but who cares if they don’t show you the money? At least you’ll win the hearts and minds of your viewing audience and money isn’t that the only thing that really matters, anyway? So, I’m going to make you an offer that you can’t refuse. Make a movie worth watching, or else like the “Terminator” series, I’ll be back. 

So, there you are! I hope that you enjoyed the article as much as those other–most likely older–judges did. If you want to read a lot more fantastic articles that my high school newspaper puts out that are extremely well-written and wonderful, visit The Bolt. I guarantee that it'll be worth your time. 

Feel free to comment! Was that piece that I wrote rubbish, do you agree, disagree? Let me know in the comments below, and don't forget to let me know what you would like me to review tomorrow.

Until then, have a lovely day!

Geek-ily yours,

 Ms. Em